Conflict Resolution

Back in the day, that's how it would have gone down...

In the past 7 years of being a Christian I have yet to see two people duke it out mano a mano. I have to say I'm pretty thankful for that.

But what do you do when somebody says or does something that offends you?

Here's what not to do:

1. Don't punch them (yeah, we established that), but further than that don't let your anger take over and turn in to anything that would make the situation worse (Ephesians 4:26a)
2. Don't ignore the situation. Offenses are a reality, it will happen. If you don't get resolution it can fester and turn into something much worse (Ephesians 4:26a).
3. Don't tell anyone else. Gossip is sin. It is directed at the person who offended you. If somebody sinned against you, how do you find resolution in sinning against them? (Proverbs 16:28)
4. Don't ignore or avoid the person who offended you. As Christians we are called to love (John 13:34), that's obvious. Don't cut another member off from your love. That will only make them feel offended.

Here is what to do:

1. Calm down. It will be okay.
2. Gain a proper perspective. We all are sinners who fall short of the glory of God. We are going to offend somebody sometime. It's how you deal with it that is important.
3. Get biblical. Read Matthew 18:15-17 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector."

Jesus gives pretty specific instructions on what to do.

1. Confront the person personally and individually. Make sure at this point that you haven't already told anybody. Give them an opportunity to apologize. Forgive them. Repeat: forgive them.
2. Hopefully at that point they have realized their offense and apologized. If they have not, get somebody to come alongside you and approach them again. Important! Don't bring your best friend that will agree with you emphatically and disagree with the other party completely. Get someone objective, a mutual friend, someone you both trust. Give them another opportunity to apologize. Forgive them. Repeat: forgive them.
3. Hopefully at that point they have realized their offense and apologized. Hopefully at that point you have forgiven them. Now you have to get the church involved. I suggest speaking to the pastor regarding the situation, what happened, what steps you have taken to get resolution and where the process is at now. Set up a meeting with the person who offended you, the pastor, the other party involved in step 2, and yourself. Again, give them another opportunity to apologize. Forgive them. Repeat: forgive them.

At this point if they still don't realize that they have done something wrong or have hurt you, don't have anything else to do with them. Move on with your life.

I have never seen this go all the way through without forgiveness or an apology. Most people say stupid stuff without even realizing it, once they know that they have done harm they will apologize almost immediately, and praise the Lord, you have your friend back.

The Mystery of Godliness

What is the first thing that you think of when you hear the word "Mystery"?

Does it look something like this:

If it does, than I hate to tell you that...

You're wrong!

This is how Webster's Dictionary defines the word "mystery":

A religious truth that one can only know by revelation and cannot fully understand.

-or-

The hidden, eternal plan of God that is being revealed to His people in accordance to His plan.

So, when there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call?



Sorry, not those guys... We can call upon Him in whom are all treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

So, as we look at the scripture in 1st Timothy 3:16 we read:

And without controversy, great is the mystery of godliness:

God was manifested in the flesh
Justified by the spirit
Seen by angels
Preached among the Gentiles
Believed on in the world
Received up in glory

What a wonderful mystery!

This verse contains the mystery, or the secret if you will to godliness, and guess what? No where in that verse are you or I mentioned. No where in that verse are what we are supposed to do, or how we are supposed to act mentioned.

What is this secret all about?

JESUS!

The mystery of godliness is centered upon and revolves around the life and ministry of our Lord Jesus Christ. And I think this is very purposefull in that if we try to attain godliness based upon what we do or don't do, we will only attain self-righteousness. If we attempt to attain godliness through the work that Jesus has already done for us, it wil leave us humble open to a real work of God in our hearts.

John 15:5 says "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without me you can do nothing."

Bearing that fruit of godliness sprouts forth naturally from an abiding relationship with Jesus, not from our own list of do's and don'ts.

So, if we seek to live godly lives, we need to seek to abide in Jesus, to cultivate and maintain a rich, intimate relationship with Him through spending time in His word and praying to Him, and not forgetting to listen from time to time...

Sola Una Vida

In 2 Timothy 4:6-8 Paul says this:

"For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing."

It reminded me of the old saying: "There is only one life and it will soon be past, only what I have done for Christ will last."

I read a poem the other day that incorporated that line, and summed up what the Apostle Paul had to say as well:

Two little lines I heard one day,
Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart,
And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life and it will soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one,
Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in that day my Lord to meet,
And stand before His judgment seat;
Only one life and it will soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me, Father, a purpose deep,
In joy, or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife,
Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life and it will soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Let's make it count!

Santa Maria Tri-Tip

So I fancy myself somewhat a chef, well not really, I like to cook and I like to eat even more. One of the items I like to cook is a tri-tip. I usually load it down with way too much Montreal Steak Seasoning (thanks for the tip Jack O) and grill it up to nice and pink medium rare.

I made it one time and Abby had no clue what it was, neither did my friend David Vitorino... How could you not know what a tri-tip is?!?! Well, I guess pretty easily. The tri-tip is a relatively unknown cut of meat finding it's origins on the Central Coast of California in the vast Mexican ranchos.

I spent the weekend in Arroyo Grande, and everywhere we went you could smell the Tri-Tip smoking over red oak.



Here is a bit of the history:

Santa Maria Barbecue has its roots in the mid-19th century, when the rancheros gathered to help each other brand their calves each spring. The host would prepare a Spanish-style barbecue as a thank you for his vaqueros (America's first cowboys), family and friends. Under the oaks of the serene, little coastal valley, they would enjoy a traditional feast that included beef barbecued over a red oak fire, served with Pinquito beans, bread, salsa and homemade desserts.

Today's Santa Maria-style barbecue grew out of this tradition, and achieved its "style" some 60 years ago, when locals began stringing their beef on skewers and cooking it over the hot coals of a red oak fire. The meat, either top block sirloin or the triangular-shaped bottom sirloin known as tri-tip, is rolled in a mixture of salt, pepper and garlic salt just prior to cooking. It's then barbecued over red oak coals, giving the meat a hearty, smoky flavor.

The traditional Santa Maria barbecue menu features, of course, the barbecued sirloin, trimmed, sliced, and laid out in metal pans, so the diner may select the desired doneness. The only condiment for this tender and flavorful meat is a fresh salsa. With it is served grilled French bread dipped in sweet melted butter, perfect for soaking up every last bit of the flavorful meat juices. Also served on the side are a tossed green salad and slow-cooked Pinquito beans. For the most authentic Santa Maria barbecue experience, select a robust Santa Maria Valley wine to accompany your meal. The tasty feast is finished with coffee and a simple dessert.

RECIPES

Santa Maria Style BBQ Tri Tip
Serves: 4-6

• 2 tablespoons kosher salt
• 1 tablespoon garlic salt
• 1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper
• One two-and-a-half pound tri-tip roast, fat trimmed
• Canola oil

1. Heat the grill to high
2. Combine the salt, garlic salt and pepper in a small bowl. Rub both sides of the beef with the rub and drizzle with a few tablespoons of the oil. Place on the grill and cook until golden brown on both sides and cooked to medium-rare doneness, about 15 minutes total. Remove from the grill, let rest for 5 minutes before slicing across the grain into thin slices.

Santa Maria Pinquito Bean Relish

• 1/2-pound slab of bacon, finely diced
• 1 medium Spanish onion, finely diced
• 1/2 poblano chile, finely diced
• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 2 cans pinto beans, drained, rinsed and drained again
• Salt and pepper

1. Heat a large sauté pan over medium heat. Add the bacon and cook until golden brown and the fat has rendered. Remove the bacon with a slotted spoon to a plate lined with paper towels.
2. Add the onion and poblano to the bacon fat in the pan and cook until soft, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 30 seconds. Add the beans and cook until warmed through. Fold in the cooked bacon and transfer to a medium bowl.

Tomato Relish

• 2 ripe beefsteak tomatoes, finely diced
• 1/2 small red onion, finely diced
• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 1 serrano or jalapeno chile, finely diced
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat leaf parsley or cilantro
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl and let sit at room temperature before serving.

Grilled French Bread

• 1 loaf French bread, split lengthwise
• 1-1/2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Place bread on grill, cut side down and cook until lightly golden brown, flip over and continue cooking for 30 seconds longer. Remove from the grill and spread the butter over the cut side and season with salt and pepper.

Free Wetsuit for Jalen

A few weeks ago I was searching for a cheap wetsuit for Jalen who I started taking surfing with me. Searching Craigslist I saw an ad offering 6 free wetsuits and a free surfboard to the winner of an essay contest. At first I thought it was novel, but then I thought I might actually have a shot of getting a wetsuit for Jalen, so I wrote:

"First off, I would just like to say thank you for putting this add on craigslist. In a world of selfishness and greed you offer a bit of hope…

I love going surfing, not just because catching waves is fun, nor because of the exercise you receive, nor because of the beauty of the surroundings, but because of the whole experience.

Usually it goes something like this:

• Get up at some ungodly hour
• crawl out of bed and into car
• Get out of the car at the beach
• Begin to freeze because of the fog and frigid wind
• Now that you are frozen, take off all your clothes
• Put on a cold wetsuit that is still wet from the previous days’ surf
• Get into ice cold water
• Pee on yourself just to keep from becoming hypothermic

Oh, but I forgot to mention that somewhere in the process you met some of your close friends and get to spend time together bonding over all these things, challenging each other to improve your abilities, congratulating one another when a new move is pulled off, sympathizing with another when you pearl, go over the falls, or get pounded in a close-out. The friendships that are formed and maintained around surfing are what I enjoy most about it.

This is why I am asking you today to consider my friend Jalen for a wetsuit and a pair of booties. Here is a bit of his story:

His mother became pregnant with him when she was only 18 years old. After her child was only 2 weeks old, the father was caught in the crossfire of a drive by shooting and was killed. Growing up without a father and a working mother was tough on him. He always prayed for a dad, but only had a grandpa and lots of autnies, until his mother was reunited with a man from high school. When Jalen was 9 years old they were married and he had that dad he had always prayed for. Unfortunately, though, his new dad is in also the Air Force and has to move around a lot and be gone from the family.

A few weeks ago Jalen found a surfboard in a trash pile next to his house… He was stoked! It’s a beat up 6″4″, but it floats and he spent the next week cleaning and waxing it up. I took him out last week and he had a blast. We were able to spend the day together and enjoy the waves and each others company. He was able to borrow a wetsuit that was a size small that didn’t quite fit him. He wants to keep surfing every week, but with the water being as cold as it is… He needs a new suit."

And... drumroll...

I WON!

The guy who started the whole thing is pretty cool and he created a website with all the entrants and winners:

www.surfboardcontest.com/

Micaiah My Hero.

We all know the story of, or have at least heard of Elijah the prophet and his constant rebuke of Ahab King of Israel. But after a re-reading 1 Kings I was introduced to another fellow by the name of Micaiah. Here is a bit of his story:

In a time past the King of Syria had taken Ramoth in Gilead from Israel, so he asked Jehoshaphat (I can't wait to name my first son that) King go Judah to war with him, and King J agreed, but he wanted to inquire of the Lord first. So King Ahab brought 400 prophets (or shall I say profits) together and they all said DO IT! But all these guys were hired prophets of the "the lord", of Baal, and not of "the LORD", the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. King J wanted to inquire of the LORD so he asked if there were any of His prophets remaining. Micaiah was the only one, but Ahab hated him because he never told him good things, but always bad, but always true. King J called for him and he came, when he arrived the other "prophets" encouraged him to be of one accord with all of them and tell the kng to fight, but this was Micaiah's response:

"As the LORD lives, whatever the LORD says to me, that will I speak."

That is exactly what he did, and to reward his faithfulness Ahab had him shut up into prison.

I reading this story, I think many of us can relate. I am reminded of the scripture that says: "Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." Who of us are popular when we tell our drunken friends, homosexual neighbors, or family members that they are in sin and need to repent? I don't think we need to even open our mouths, just by refraining from certain behaviors is enough to make us lame in the world's eyes.

But nevertheless, may we have the strength to say as Micaiah: "As the LORD lives, whatever the LORD says to me, that will I speak."

My New Blog!

I'd like to start blogging again - so here it is! I'll be adding stuff as it happens in my life and ministry.